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Sunday, January 11, 2015

Peeves, Productivity, Purpose

It has been a given since the first term of the academic year that I stay at the top bunk of the double decker bed whenever my aunt arrives from Hong Kong. Memories of me bugging my sister to let me stay at the top bunk in the summer—only to get a death glare from her matched with a stiff “No” in return—were long gone but alive in me whenever I stayed at the top. It eventually had become a dread as the top bunk started creaking. Mind you, I almost never experience the pleasure of getting to sleep once I lie in bed, no. Only after a long day or when stress takes its toll on me that I fall asleep easily. 

On typical days, however, I have to toss and turn and worry about the future aftering creeping on the past as I neglect the in between—which is where I lay, the present—before I could shut down my restless self. Tossing and turning caused creaking, earning its deserved place in my list of trivialities that shouldn’t bother me but do anyway. I’ve recently discovered how sensitive my ears are to noise, for most of my peeves are unflattering sounds of life: people removing food stuck in between their teeth so noisily, things creaking (especially during ungodly hours of the night), fingers heavily scratching a chalkboard, boisterous cackling… the extremely nasty list goes on.

Thursday, January 01, 2015

4 mistakes I made in 2014 (and what I learned from each)

As 2014 wrapped up last night to launch itself into the past for us to look back on whenever we please (or whenever our History classes require us to), I’m pretty stoked for this year. I know it’s always been like this—me getting my hopes up for the coming year during the last few days of December, only to welcome the next year excitingly for a few seconds as I retreat to my dull self in the morning. But hey, it’s my decision to keep that cycle going, and I’ve decided to change that today.

Before I move forward with more hope and motivation than ever, I’d like to look back for a  while. From the One Direction ticket-selling, to high school graduation to college to meeting online friends, these are a few words that give away the happy moments I’ve had in 2014 and I am extremely grateful. I've had many good memories with the best people, but I'm not cramming them up in a blog post for it would be such a drag.

On that note, I realized that when we reminisce, we get choosy and only remember the ones that made us feel something, as if those moments gave meaning to this mystery we call life. What we do not look back on, however, are those moments that broke us and made us feel nothing—and that's exactly what I'd like to write about. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Here’s to you who cannot seem to let go of the past

The year is about to end, and you lay in bed thinking about things. Things that matter, things that don’t; things that should be thought of, things that shouldn’t. It’s close to midnight and your mind is your nemesis, betraying you by dropping memories long gone like bombs, and all you know is that you’re begging for it to stop. With a heavy feeling in your chest, it reminds you that you are alive and in need of air.

But remnants of the past refuse to let you breathe.

As the present deforms with the future unsolved, the past haunts your soul. But not like a ghost. It does not touch your skin that it gives you chills. It does not make you tremble in fear, for you already know what it is made of: it is the fire that has already burnt you that you cannot put out, for it remains your only hope.

So here’s to you, dear friend, whose hope at this moment is the cigarette that’s slowly killing your poor soul.

Monday, December 08, 2014

10 Things

1. Being the person who never makes plans (because most of the time they don’t happen and I find planned things a drag for some reason), going on a movie marathon by myself last night was not a surprise. 

2. I already knew that watching 90s movies with a friend or two was better, but I found myself thanking whatever motivated me to do it myself. It made me realize that quality time spent on your own helps you put your mind off of things, and I didn’t know I needed it until I did it.

3. I remember during the last few months of high school, Fiona, one of my best friends, told me to watch 10 Things I Hate About You. I had heard of the movie before she even mentioned it, but I never really found the time (and drive) to watch it…until after watching Clueless last night, almost a year after she had told me about it. 

4. The movie made me fall in love. The plot, the whole concept that made each character revolve around it—I have no words. The dialogue? By far the most quotable.

5. I could talk about Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt all day, that’s for sure.